come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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