Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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