it hurts more in the daytime
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize