I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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