you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
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The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
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Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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