there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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