so that wasnt chicken after all
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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