It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize