you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize