No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize