So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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