some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I touched a dick in church today
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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