I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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