just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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