He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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