.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize