Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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