i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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