Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You took a bar mat shot.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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