You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Even my vagina gasped.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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