I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
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today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
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Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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