I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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