Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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