Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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