Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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