He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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