When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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