I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize