I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize