I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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