it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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