She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
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Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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