Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
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