I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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