I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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