"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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