Whatcha textin bout Willis?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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