I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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