Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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