I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize