he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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