$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
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its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
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There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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