i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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