She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
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Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
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I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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