This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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