Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize