You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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