pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
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Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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