just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize