I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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